By the Records Ye Shall Be Judged...

Only honest to goodness, died in the wool Ward Clerks will recognize this form. But for the rest of us who never passed the test of 'book learnin' sufficient to get into the side office and serve in those callings where you have to be able to read in order to get called, the above form, I've been instructed is a copy of our membership record, one of which is 'inside' the churches computer for each and every member - all 12,000,000 of us - amazing for those of us who grew up on Royal Typewriters and then graduated to White Out and when a 'correctokey' came along we thought we had died and gone to heaven...

Ok, now you are up to speed on Records. We get one of these forms (above) for each of our missionaries to verify their records. The above copy is the exact record for Elder Timothee Dimbu Pikazio of the DRCongo. We discovered by reading his record that he has already DECEASED because it says "Deceased Member Records" and that means he has been reported and recorded on the records of the church (by which we will be judged) that he is Kaput, Finished.

Now, that is serious to us because we were expecting him at the MTC this week and we even thought we had seen him. But, that can't be possible because his records says he is 'deceased'. So we went back and checked our camera and sure enough we found his picture to be blank (see below)...

(Above) An Actual "Real Life" photograph of Elder Timothee Dimbu Pikazio from The Congo as he entered the MTC.

Elder Timothee Dimbu Pikazio - following the Miracle of the MTC.

You will be happy to know that this fine French speaking Elder has, Like Unto Lazarus been brought back from the 'DECEASED FILE' and is walking the halls of the MTC as if he had never been dead. This place is amazing. If Brigham Young would have come here first - before he went to Salt Lake - he would have stood at the door and said "THIS IS THE PLACE"... (Can someone please reverse the notation about this dead Elder - it doesn't look good on his - or our - record.) Editor Note: If he was going on a temple mission then it wouldn't be so bad if he were dead cus that's what they do all day is work with the dead, but here at the MTC our work is with the living and people that do this work must be very much alive - so please change his record to say "Very Much Alive" - Besides he is not even a High Priest yet and they are the ones the Ward Clerks often mistake for dead.